When the Feeling of Not Being Enough Lives in Your Bones

There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t always scream. It whispers.

It follows you — in the choices you make, in how you show up, in how you hold back. It becomes more than just a thought.It becomes the way you see yourself. The way you move through the world.

That whispering voice saying:

“Try a little harder. Be a little better. Be nicer. Be quieter. Maybe then… maybe then, you’ll be accepted.Approved. Seen.”

I carried that voice for years. Because when you grow up in a space where love isn’t safe, you start to believe that you are the reason why.

My mother died when I was six years old. And instead of being held in my grief, I was left alone with it.My father couldn’t give me the love I so deeply longed for —maybe he didn’t know how. And my stepmother… she couldn’t stand me. I didn’t understand it at the time.But now I see that my presence alone was too much for her.I was the proof of my dad’s love for another woman —and my very existence became the problem.

So I adapted. I shrank. I became attuned to every shift in the room. Careful not to take up too much space. Always adjusting, always performing… Just trying to be liked. Or at the very least, not rejected.

But that ache — that belief that I wasn’t enough —stayed with me. It shaped my adult life.In relationships. In my work. In the way I saw myself. Because the wounds we carry within…they limit us. No matter how capable, successful, or loved you might be on the outside — if deep down, you still believe you’re not enough, you’ll always be chasing something just out of reach.

And healing? It’s not easy.It takes courage. It takes a willingness to sit with your inner self —that little child still aching in silence.It takes patience. Because healing doesn’t move in a straight line. It moves in waves. Between light and shadow. Progress and setbacks. But it is possible.

I’m not sharing this to dwell on my past. I’m sharing it because I want you to know — there is another way. I know what it’s like to survive. And I know what it feels like to slowly, gently… start living again.

If you recognize yourself in these words —if you feel the ache of never being enough, if you long to just be yourself and still be loved — Then please hear this: You are not alone. And you deserve to heal. We all do. We all deserve to come home — not just to a place, but to ourselves.

✨ If you’re ready to begin that journey — to heal, release, and rise — I’m here. Through coaching and the Empowerment Program, I support people in breaking free from limiting beliefs and finding their true power. You are worthy of that healing. And you don’t have to walk the path alone. //Lina Edenfelt Holst Empowerment Coach and Business Strategist